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WOW! Just read I won’t apologize for being assaulted and want to say that it made me stop, think, and take notice. It made me wonder how often I unknowingly am supporting actions and people by attending shows or wearing a shirt, etc., when the people in the band have behaved in ways that are cruel, abusive, and wrong. How many times have I caused someone I walk past to re-experience a terrible moment, when they are least prepared to do so? How often have I sent their survivor a message that I side with their oppressor?
I don’t have heroes, and I’m sure as hell not heroic. I don’t expect perfection in behavior from artists/authors, etc., whose work I support. I don’t want to judge anyone by the worst thing they have ever done. And yet … I don’t want to support sexual assault, homophobia, racism, etc., either.
I want to think more about the article. It will stay with me. For right now, I want to say the following, not just to the writer, but to anyone: If I am in some way supporting someone or some band that is responsible in any way for your pain, please, please, please, confront me. Tell me as much of your story as you are comfortable with sharing. Tell me how my shirt, behavior, friendship, attendance, supports the person. I will do ,my best to respond appropriately to the situation. If that means leaving a show, reversing or removing a shirt, or confronting a friend, so be it.
I am not promising to believe anything anyone tells me. I will listen in good faith. I may be skeptical if you tell me my mother or best friend did something to you. I may ask questions that reflect a need to be convinced about something involving someone I think I know. I will not be mean or hurtful in so doing.
I ask this in return. Don’t assume by my costume that I support what your oppressor did, or what s/he is. Don’t start the interaction with a fist. I am probably not your enemy. I probably did not mean to cause you pain.
Let’s build a better world.
I really love your blog. keep it up!
Papa Dose loves u guys!!!!