A Manifesto Of Sorts

I used to roll my eyes when friends complained about “mommy blogs”.  “Why do you care what some twat said about raising kids? You’re doing a good job; just don’t read her stuff anymore.” I didn’t understand why it was such a big freaking deal. I mean, I didn’t go around reading sites praising George W. Bush.  That’s how the internet is, you pick and choose and everyone else can go to hell.  Or wherever.

Then, this really strange thing happened.  I started dating a single father. And then I fell in love like a dummy.  Now we live together and I’m suddenly a mom-type.  So I spend a lot of time online, researching and finding new things to try out with them.  And that’s when I found out how hideous the mommy blogs really can be. All of the sudden, I was the one feeling judged for working full time. For allowing chemical-filled cleaning sprays into our home. I was the horrible parent that used food as a reward. I let them watch tv all day, and play video games, and have pizza rolls for dinner on the regs. And I curse! Sometimes in front of the boys, sometimes as I yell at them to PUT SOME DAMN PANTS ON.

As much as I tried to take my own (dismissive, bitchy) advice of just don’t look at it, that’s really difficult. Because everywhere you turn there’s some stay at home mom with a lot more time, money, and patience making me feel like Asshole of the Year. Which is BULLSHIT because I’m a great parent. Even if I drink and smoke and curse and eat fast food, I still love those boys with all of me and they know it. We have a home filled with laughter and joy and craziness, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. (At least not permanently, but if someone wanted to give me an all-inclusive week to a resort all alone, I’d so do it.)

Which leaves me in a weird position.  Because I like reading parenting blogs and getting craft ideas and recipes and advice. But I don’t have the time, patience or low self-esteem needed to continually read all of the judgmental drivel that occupies most of the mommyblog world. I want a site that has parenting tips, and stories of how kids can be the worst,  and recipes, and discussions about politics and books and sports and money and everything else that I find interesting and love to discuss. I am lucky enough to have a really awesome group of friends who happen to have offspring.  And I’m just insane enough to try and swindle all of them into giving up some precious quiet time to make a site that I want.

So, that’s what this is.  An attempt to create a little place online that I can go to when I’m frustrated or tired or overwhelmed, and read about how other people have the same issues. To find a new cooking shortcut that gives me an extra five minutes to relax. To vent about a new law that threatens my family and get opinions on the world beyond the boys’ room from people with different experiences. Some space that helps me as a mom and as a person – I love my kids, and they’re a huge, important part of my life, but still just a part. And I don’t feel like a jerk for saying that here.

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