I can’t believe that in this, the year 2015, there are still articles like THIS. So I’d like to take a minute and say what, exactly, does and does not make one “a man.” Ahem:

• Liking sports does not make you a man.
• Not liking sports does not make you not-a-man.
• Having a beard does not make you a man.
• Ogling women and making comments about their bodies does not make you a man.
• Watching a movie only to comment on how “hot” the Academy Award winning actress is does not make you a man.
• Enjoying a movie featuring well-rounded lady characters played by Academy Award winning actresses and enjoying it for their acting abilities and not their “hotness” does not make you not-a-man. (Please forward me a list, I’d like to see those movies.)
• Calling other men “faggots,” “wusses,” “pussies,” et al because those men do not share the same “manly” interests as you does not make you a man.
• Grilling does not make you a man.
• Baking does not make you not-a-man.
• Going hunting or fishing does not make you a man.
• Not giving a shit about hunting or fishing does not make you not-a-man.
• Sharing in household chores (even cleaning the fucking bathroom) does not make you not-a-man.
• Reading a book written by a woman does not make you not-a-man.
• Having a “man cave” does not make you a man. (It does make you a douche, though.)
• Enjoying movies wherein a lot of shit blows up does not make you man.
• Enjoying movies that feature less shit blowing up and more talking does not make you not-a-man.
• Having nothing to do with raising your child does not make you a man.
• Raising a child does not make you not-a-man.
• Bringing home the sole income does not make you a man.
• Being a stay-at-home parent does not make you not-a-man.
• Knowing about cars does not make you a man, nor does your ability to fix them without the aid of a mechanic.
• Liking the band Rush does not make you a man.
• Not liking the band Rush does not make you not-a-man (it does mean you have better taste than those who like Rush.)
• Being repulsed by the mere mention of a menstrual cycle does not make you a man.
• Feeling that your masculinity is threatened because women are allowed the same rights as you (sort of, mostly, kind of) does not make you a man.
• Gettin’ laid does not make you a man.
• Rape, threat of rape, or sexual violence of any kind does not make you a man.

So what does, then, make someone a man? Well, if you ask ME (and you didn’t and I don’t care because I’m writing this, and you’re reading it):

• Not being a woman makes you a man. (If we’re sticking with the ol’ M/F binary, which, in this case, we are.) (I’m not excluding transgendered folks either – if you identify as a man, yeah, I count that.) (Just keep reading.)
• Taking care of your responsibilities makes you an adult, and since men are adults, this qualifies you as a man (if you’re not a woman).
• Taking responsibility for your actions and not blaming the world for your problems makes you an adult.
• Not giving a shit about gender norms and what men are and are not supposed to do or like makes you a fucking adult.

As you can see, being a decent, respectful person is really what’s paramount in being a “man.” Oddly enough, it’s what is paramount in being a “woman” also, despite what you may have heard about shopping and child-rearing. Maybe if we all just crawled out of each others’ asses and quit trying to compartmentalize and classify every damn action we take, the world would be a little easier. If we weren’t so concerned with how “appropriate” a pastime is, or if you can wear pink and have a wang at the same time, or if having ovaries automatically disqualifies you from understanding the fundamentals of football – maybe we could actually just enjoy our lives. Do what you want as long as you’re not hurting those around you – whether you’re a man, a woman, or a glorious shade in between – just be a fucking adult. (Most of that last part was by Elizabeth. Had to give props.)