Cooper loves sleeping in my bed. LOVES IT. However, since we have a consistent bedtime routine, he never really gives me any trouble about going to sleep in his room. Or at least, pretending to go to sleep in his room. There have been many times that I’ve been in bed watching TV, or reading, or whatever, and I’ll see a blue eye peeking through my door, trying to see if I’m asleep yet or not. That’s bad enough, but I just tell him to go to bed and get on with whatever I’m binge-watching on Hulu.
The trouble comes when he does outlast me, and I’m already asleep. If he either stays up later than me, or wakes up in the middle of the night, he knows he has me. Why? Because during the day, I have no problem being firm and sticking to a schedule. But if I’m tired enough, I don’t care about anything. Cooper not only exploits this weakness, but has turned it into an art form.
I used to wake up at every noise or movement he made, terrified that he was finding someway to injure or kill himself in the middle of the night. As he’s gotten older and more self-sufficient, I’ve begun to sleep through things. There have been many mornings where I’ve woken up and had no idea he had snuck into my room, until I’m smacked in the face by a flailing baby arm. Or I’m hanging off the side of the bed, because at 40 lbs, he manages to take up 5/6 of a queen size. I don’t always sleep through his nighttime missions though, and the other night was the creepiest one yet.
I recently hurt my knee, so I’ve been on pain pills. Luckily, Cooper was able to stay with his dad through the first few days when it was the worst, so it didn’t matter that I was completely out of it. So the first day I had Cooper back, I didn’t take anything for my knee. However, since it hurt the most while I was sleeping, I took one before going to bed, which made the experience that much worse.
So it’s probably around 1 or 2 in the morning, and I wake up to Cooper standing over me, not saying a word. I’m in that half-awake state of semi-paralysis, and all I can do is mumble for him to go back to bed. He doesn’t answer or move, so I say it a little bit clearer: “Cooper, honey, go back to bed, please.”
He takes my hand, and in a very soft voice, says, “I’m not going anywhere, Mommy.”
Needless to say, I told him it was fine, because I didn’t want to see what would happen if I said no.
Feel free to share your own creepy kid stories in the comments– we all have them. Right? RIGHT??????