2 Days Late, but a Few Thoughts I Had on International Women’s Day
● Upon reading a brave young lady’s account of being sexually assaulted at a metal show,
I was reminded of the time I confessed to a past boyfriend my deep dark secret of being
assaulted myself. And how he called me a liar. Same boyfriend a few months later got
angry at me for yelling at one of his customers at the bar he worked at because the
customer grabbed my ass, and was equally handsy with other ladies at the same time.
● Taking a walk last night, I was hollered at by an SUV full of young men. Contrary to their
intentions, I was not flattered, only thankful I was on a busy street so if they tried to
physically assault me, at least I was in public and would maybe get help from passers by.
● When people I know (usually dudes) talk about their vagina hurting or being too big as a
way to describe themselves as being afraid or a wuss, I like to point out that my vagina
pushed out a person and after a few stitches (no anesthesia for the record), is back to
tiptop shape. Dicks, on the other hand, shrivel up when they get too chilly. I’m often told
to be quiet, or take my feminism elsewhere. [shrugs]
● A close family member (a lady) talking about how male teachers in high school just can’t
help themselves with the way these young ladies dress nowadays. Same family member was with me at the gas station the first time I remember getting catcalled. She told me that I shouldn’t wear tank tops because my boobs are too big and invite that kind of attention.
● Relaying a conversation about sex I’d had with a friend to my boyfriend, who told me
he’d never had a frank discussion with any of his dude friends about sex. Apparently, it’s
all bravado and lies (or, at the very least, extensions of the truth), and frank discussions
between hetero dudes is generally discouraged for the fear of being, you guessed it, a
pussy. (At least we get to talk about our feelings without societal repercussions?)
● People getting angry (red faced and sputtering) at me when I talk about how I don’t agree with engagement rings, ladies taking the man’s name, the father of the bride giving her away, a man asking for a woman’s father’s permission to marry. Them telling me it’s “just tradition” and how I’m, you guessed it, blowing things out of proportion. But, like, think of that shit. It’s kind of fucked up. You wanna know about tradition, read The Lottery by Shirley Jackson.
● My mom telling me that “girls don’t skateboard” when I was, like, 8. My dad telling my
sister and I we can be whatever we work hard for (which isn’t really true) and also
making comments about every single woman’s appearance everywhere all the time.
● Being told over and over again that I don’t like Rush because I’m a woman. What? I
don’t like Rush because they’re annoying.
● Hyperawareness of all my surroundings forever and ever.
● When I hear racist dickheads talk about how black people hate all white people and do
all these terrible things to them, but I think about my own experiences in the world, and
the experiences of other white ladies I know and how the majority of them have actually
been perpetrated by white males, but we’re supposed to see them as the exceptions not
● Every time we speak out against rape and sexual assault and threats and words and
shitty people, women are told to calm down, that we’re making too big a deal of things, or that we’re liars. That there are still “good guys” and why don’t we trust men? Then, when we DON’T speak up, we’re blamed for it, and asked why we didn’t report it and told that if more women would JUST SPEAK OUT, THIS WOULDN’T HAPPEN.
● I stand for abortion for all women, whenever they need it. Women who are 7 months
pregnant aren’t routinely seeking abortions because they made an ooopsie. Any woman
seeking an abortion that late in the game probably has a good reason, and you would
know that if you would just fucking trust women. Oh, you “know” a lady who used
abortion as birth control? First of all, no you don’t. Second, so what? If you’re a woman,
that isn’t your fucking uterus. If you’re a man, shut the fuck up, you don’t have a uterus
● If you’ve gone this far in life as a lady and never experienced sexism, good for you! Also
never talk to me again because you’re lying to yourself and living in denial isn’t going to
exact changes. And no I’m not going to address the “good guys” out there because if
you have to talk that much about how much of a “good guy” you are, you aren’t. Yeah,
we know it’s not all men. Shut up.
● If you’re a men’s rights activist (which, hahaha, good one), are you fighting for men’s
rights because you’re just afraid that eventually women will be powerful enough to treat
you the way you’ve been treating us for so long (forever)? Legitimate question I have.
Please don’t answer because your words are garbage.
● If you think I hate you because you’re a man, and that is what feminists hate, go right
ahead. If you realize that my anger is actually because women, even in our fair, fine
good ol’ USA where EVERYBODY IS EQUAL HAHAHAHA, are treated like garbage,
and really all we want is to NOT be treated like garbage and also to be able to occupy
space without some human trash pile commenting about us, then congratulations, you’re