An Incomplete List of Things I Can’t Listen to in the Car Anymore Because My Child Asks Too Many Questions

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– Wu Tang Clan, Enter the Wu Tang (too much N-word and 6-year-olds don’t grasp the concept of why it’s not okay if WE say it)

– L7, Smell the Magic (Fast & Frightening is one of my favorite songs, but the line “Got so much clit, she don’t need no balls” is a line I don’t have the patience to explain)

– Jay-Z, The Black Album (Again, with the n-word, but also kids are bad at understanding the drug trade)

– Guns’n’Roses, all of them (Mr. Brownstone is NOT about an actual man, “I used to love her/But I had to kill her,” Get In the Ring, soooo many drugs! Also, probably, Pretty Tied Up)

– Britney Spears Greatest Hits (You know that song about a threesome? My kid went around for MONTHS singing that goddamn song before I realized what it was he was singing)

An Incomplete List of Things I Refuse to Stop Listening to Just Because My Kid is in the Car

– Slayer

– Hole

– The Clash (Really, they only have that one line…”He who fucks nuns/Will later join the church)

– The Distillers

– The Pogues

Sometimes making adjustments sucks, but it’s better than hearing your kid recite verses from Shame On a N***a. NOT THAT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. What about you? Have you scaled back? Or are you one of those weirdos who allows kid music? May I suggest The Ramones instead?

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One comment

  1. Becoming the Best Me

    Peanut is currently too young to sing to music but whenever she’s upset in the car, she will calm down and stop crying if we blast disturbed LOL she just loves that band. I play her all types of music even country music. She likes different songs of each genre. I only know this because she babbles to the songs she likes LOL

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