– Wu Tang Clan, Enter the Wu Tang (too much N-word and 6-year-olds don’t grasp the concept of why it’s not okay if WE say it)

– L7, Smell the Magic (Fast & Frightening is one of my favorite songs, but the line “Got so much clit, she don’t need no balls” is a line I don’t have the patience to explain)

– Jay-Z, The Black Album (Again, with the n-word, but also kids are bad at understanding the drug trade)

– Guns’n’Roses, all of them (Mr. Brownstone is NOT about an actual man, “I used to love her/But I had to kill her,” Get In the Ring, soooo many drugs! Also, probably, Pretty Tied Up)

– Britney Spears Greatest Hits (You know that song about a threesome? My kid went around for MONTHS singing that goddamn song before I realized what it was he was singing)

An Incomplete List of Things I Refuse to Stop Listening to Just Because My Kid is in the Car

– Slayer

– Hole

– The Clash (Really, they only have that one line…”He who fucks nuns/Will later join the church)

– The Distillers

– The Pogues

Sometimes making adjustments sucks, but it’s better than hearing your kid recite verses from Shame On a N***a. NOT THAT IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. What about you? Have you scaled back? Or are you one of those weirdos who allows kid music? May I suggest The Ramones instead?