Guest Post: I Won’t Apologize For Being Assaulted
Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault discussed frankly
Today’s guest post comes from the awesome Beth – “a recovering scenster 30something stay at home wife and mom. I listen to the Descendents from the comfort of my suburban home while cooking barefoot and pregnant to Bikini Kills Rebel Girl. I may not have it all figured out but im constsntly searching for a balance.”
According to sexual assault statistics, “One in four college-age women report surviving rape or attempted rape since their fourteenth birthday.” This is a pretty well known fact and probably won’t come to any surprise as I’m sure you, a girlfriend/boyfriend, ex, sibling, parent, child, teacher, babysitter, or neighbor in your life has been a victim. What might surprise you is how sexual assault can really inconvenience other people. No, seriously. I mean, what a total bummer to have to know that a friend of yours was manhandled by someone else – it just makes you feel bad, ya know? Or what a total drag to be friends with that certain someone who has been accused of this, I mean… jeez. Give you a break right? It’s not like they did it to you. You weren’t even there and I could totally be lying.
Wait. What? Let me go back…
I totally bum people out because I happened to have been sexually assaulted by the singer of a band they like. Like REALLY like. I know, I know. I should have tried harder for a band just begging to be rejected and ridiculed so it wouldn’t ruin your iPod rotation but hey, then again, it really wasn’t my choice. But man, what a total inconvenience to poor you to know something bad about a band you love. Just ignore the facts, I mean it WAS a long time ago. It’s not like I can still remember I was wearing cargo camo shorts and a v-neck white Hanes t-shirt… an outfit TOTALLY putting off do-me vibes with my freshly shaved head and not shaved legs and…wait. Hmmm.
Did you know I also make people feel awkward because I will openly post about my assault on Instagram or Facebook wherever I see mention of this band by “friends?” I mean…that must be really uncomfortable for them…me invading their personal space like that. Like the kind of invasion if someone were to pin them against a wall by shoving their hands down their pants from both the front and the back while pressing their entire body weight against 16-year-old, 90 lb. them as they cry and try to fight them off. No, no wait, it’s probably not like that but still. What a buzzkill. I mean, I should just learn to keep my mouth shut. I didn’t press charges so like…what right do I have STILL bringing it up? I’m sure he’s changed and moved on in life. I hear he’s a GREAT guy.
You know, it’s funny because…well, no it’s not. It’s not funny. It’s sad. It’s sad because there was a time in my life when I felt completely comfortable to confront a complete stranger, in person, wearing THIS BAND’s shirt or patch. I would tap them on the shoulder, look them in the eye and say “Hi, my name is Beth and the singer of THAT SHITTY NY PUNK BAND WITH SHITTY LARGE HAIR AND BONDAGE PANTS sexually assaulted me when I was 16. You may have heard rumors of him doing that before but from here on out you can never say you didn’t meet a victim and have the chance to hear their story.” Sometimes they’d want the details, sometimes they even admitted they had heard it about him before. The one amazing thing all of these complete strangers had in common was that they BELIEVED ME. They felt compelled to talk, cry, relate, or brainstorm. Like this was a totally fucked up thing that happened and we were not gonna sit by and take it anymore. In the end, 100% of the people I talked to removed the shirt/ patch/ pin/ etc of the band. One boy even took his shirt off and heaved it into a fire. All really small gestures to you, but to me it felt really empowering to tell my story. To have someone, through actions, say, “Yeah man. I’m on YOUR side.” “You can only be a victim if you admit defeat,” were words I lived by. These random faces gave me strength by standing behind me and… Yes, yes, true, we were younger then. Young, naive, full of energy, and allowances, so much more passionate about rights and wrongs and doing good. Plus, we totally weren’t in the middle of a beer with our friends and you know, I wasn’t “killing the vibe.” Or the shirt wasn’t “vintage,” and patches weren’t reaaally hard to come by. I mean that could totally be from their first tour – that’s worth SOMETHING. Barf.
So, ya know… now it’s been roughly 16 years since I was assaulted and that past will never change. I’m now a wife, a mother, a homeowner, a business owner, and yes still… I’m all of those things PLUS the girl that J___CoolBandLastName assaulted. In the many, many years that have passed, my need to speak about that night has never changed. Where once I traveled to fests far and wide and stood proud in my Bikini Kill shirts and screamed “Here I am, this happened.” I am now just a stay-at-home mom who finds time to look at Instagram between diaper changes and feels the need to leave a comment, “Oh, hey, that guy in that picture took away all sexual desires for 10 years by assaulting me, underage, at a friend’s house. He’s the reason I didn’t have healthy sexual relationships til my mid-20s. Oh and you look great, btw! xoxo bff ttyl. Cute kids! #hashtag #hashtag.” I dont have the time or sitter money to go out and yell anymore, but I still feel my own self-satisfaction because I won’t sit down and I won’t shut up.
In this time where the internet has made opinions widely available to the masses, I still feel like that one comment could reach 1,000 stranger eyes all from the comfort of my couch. While that’s a pretty far stretch of activism from the former life of ACTUALLY meeting people, where things REALLY changed were not my story/approach but the reactions. As we get older and nostalgia sets in, we reminisce about those old bands that got us here. We want to sing along and get sitters for weeknight shows because, dammit, we’re still young! And maybe some of us are still touring and we wouldn’t want to burn any bridges with bands we might get to play with… or maybe we are bar buddies with certain bands at far away fests and ya know.. might need a favor from them one day. Or book them to headline local friends’ fests in RVA because… I mean…they DO still draw a crowd. Yeah, sure, I get it. You’re lazy too. I expect a big reaction from you by only putting out a tiny tidbit of absolutely torturous information about my vulnerability and underage sexual experiences. But no, no, no. You’re right. Maybe if I marched in a parade, you’d at least “like” my photo but asking you to confront a friend or possibly not put other women in danger by bringing him around or NOT BUYING HIM BEERS AS IF HIS PRESENCE IN THIS TOWN WARRANTS CELEBRATION. I…ugh. I’m tired too. Maybe we’re just too old to give a shit anymore. If only there were a way to repost meaningless online articles for masses to see by clicking one button that in turn puts an unheard story out for millions of new eyes to read from the comfort of a computer chair. Then and only then might I get a little support but… wait no, no. It’s still just he said-she said. And really… what if it got back to him? It might make a situation awkward. Awkward like having someone shove the back of your head at their crotch while trying to explain, “It’s just a little 1,2,3 you can do it,” while you put all your strength in your arms to steady your weight and almost bite through your tongue trying to ensure your mouth is locked… Oh no. No, wait….
Well, guess what everyone. Here I sit during nap time, comfortable in bed, laptop open, protesting in my own half-assed way as your friend. Or maybe I WAS your friend before I moved out of the city to start a family. Maybe I was only ever just your bartender, waitress, checkout girl, seamstress, childcare provider, ex-girlfriend, show promoter, charity worker, show goer, or even just the girl in the bar seat next to you. But here’s who else I am: I am the survivor of a sexual assault at the age of 16 by a man more than 10 years older than me. This man cornered me in a room and tried to force me to perform sexual acts on him, stating he would tell everyone in the van I did it anyway so I might as well. When I fled the room, he chased me down the hall, pinning me against a wall and shoving his hands down every orifice he could find while shoving his mouth over mine to prevent my muffled screams and tears from being heard. When I eventually broke free, I locked myself in an abandoned room until friends came to me. I slept in that room only to be disturbed once by a band member who simply knocked on the door and said, “You don’t have to open the door, just listen. You don’t even have to tell me what happened because I already know and I’m really sorry.” And I’m not sorry if YOU CAN’T HANDLE THAT.
When I came out that next morning, 16 years ago, the band was gone, my wallet was stolen, and I was left a shirt by the band as if it were some sort of consolation prize. The irony of the band’s name, and me being a CASUALTY in my own right, was not lost on me. All these years later and every time I write those words, speak them, re-live them, I choke back vomit. I remember how The Singer smelled, tasted, his jagged rotten teeth, his worn leather skin, how the band argued about not cutting their hair because it was their statement, and mostly how utterly fucking helpless I felt. How scared, dirty, ashamed, used, rejected, confused, alone, and ruined I felt. I feel all those emotions when my friends play shows and fests with this man. When they put their arms around him at bars, when they defend him. Hell, I feel all this just because he simply still breathes. Through my travels, I met other girls and heard their stories and know that no justice has ever been served. Not legally, not musically, not even a small road bump in his band or his shitty pathetic life. And now… now I’m at fault for telling my story again I’m sure because man…you already bought those show tickets and they WERE $30.00 and you don’t want that going to waste. Yeah, I get it. I told. I’m the bad guy.
Well, fuck you Jorge. Fuck you and your shitty band. I don’t want to be your victim or storyteller. I want to be the wife of my husband and mother of my son without ever wearing your memory. But I can’t. What I can do is raise a man who respects women and their boundaries, but even then your shitty legacy will live on behind the reasons and examples I lay out for my son. I’m not your victim, asshole. I’m your survivor. And this is my story and if it makes you, friend, uncomfortable, well then at least we share some common feelings for once. Ya know…”I’m so sorry if I’m alienating some of you, your whole fucking culture alienates me.”
MOD NOTE: Thanks for all the support!! We’re happy we could give Beth a space to share her story. We love how quickly this story has spread, and hope it’s making an impact.
That being said, this is a tiny blog run by a group of friends in our spare time. We’re not really equipped to handle all of this activity. I’m trying to monitor and approve comments as they come in, but I have to sleep and work, so some may take awhile. Please please please keep things civil, no threats of violence, that sort of thing, I want to let everyone (except for obvious trolls) say their piece.
And, as we hear from more people on other sites, please keep things cool elsewhere. It’s amazing to hear some of the actions people are taking – from simply sharing this to being inspired to admit their own assault. But, again, please don’t threaten violence or any sort of criminal act. We’re better than that, unlike the abusers and assaulters of this world, we can actually use our minds to make a difference.
Thank you again!!
-The Damn Pants Team
Put Your Damn Pants On! 
As someone who fits that 1 in 4 statistic and as a person who has interviewed the above said band, I find myself to be torn on the issue. After such a traumatic most people — including myself — tend to think “this is my fault” and usually keep those bad moments to themselves. There is a reason I’m sure, but here is mine.
I was sexually molested when I was very young by a babysitter. I was best friends at the time with his younger brother. It happened when I was in Grade 3, and it happened often. I was confused and didn’t know how to make it stop. I ended up telling my mother that the babysitter had been starving us and told us that he wasn’t aloud to feed us. This got his ass fired. I stopped hanging out with his younger brother and the problem was gone.
I held that with me for years…. even through a moment in Grade 10 when I was raped at a New Years party. I never did press charges for that horrible night because I had let myself become to intoxicated to say “No”. I just wanted to forget the whole thing had every happened, but I couldn’t. After that I found a guy on the internet 10 years older than me and met him at a Best Western downtown. I fucked him and left, trying to fill that void.
Since than sex has just been something that animals do. I was a huge slut and had no self worth for many years.
Than a met someone who treated me like a real person. He was my first love and after 15 years of keeping the story to myself… I told him. After that I told everyone. Not who the person was… only about the event. I felt stronger for doing so.
I never told anyone who the person was. I looked him up on Facebook. He has kids, a wife and seems happy. So why would I ever selfishly bring up the name of someone who had hurt me years ago? Because simply the weight of ruining a seemingly happy family with something that happened so long ago would be crushing.
Learn from what happens. Don’t point fingers, because if it was that important to point the finger…
You would have pointed sooner.
Sexual abuse is never a good thing and it does need to stop. Don’t get me wrong here. I just choose to look at myself as a warrior learning from the abuse and not just a victim.
There I sad it.
Please understand that the spelling mistakes are not intentional the window posted it too soon. Cheers
Does it ever strike you that she was 16 years old. I don’t want to sound like I’m demonizing you? But to dismiss this as “you didn’t point sooner” is a little obtuse to say the least. She was 16 and he was in a band which even you’ve interviewed. I mean, that’s a major assumption on your part that just “didn’t care.” I simply can’t imagine how you can come to that conclusion. But I’ve never been asssaulted. Maybe there’s something you know that I don’t. But honestly, in the context of “who’s a warrior and who isn’t,” I’d stand with the author of this piece. The lead singer sounds like someone who deserves to be outed. It being “too long after the fact” is to dismiss that much of the time actions like this are part of a broader pattern of behavior. It might not stop him from committing the deed again but it will certainly put people on alert that buddy can’t keep his hands to himself.
You’re an utter coward. Projecting that onto someone else you deserve this though not what happened to you. If you’re abuser hurts someone else, you’re complicit so long as you blame the victim for taking a stand.
She was 16, he was in a band. You’re really going to fault a 16 year old for not saying anything about it sooner. Are you that dead inside?
As long as you spend your time going around telling sexual abuse survivors “it didn’t mean that much to you shut up” you’ll always be your attackers victim. I find no comfort in this.
There, I said it.
Both comments are mine, I didn’t think the first one stuck. ‘Adam.’ I’m sorry. I don’t mean to demonize you. But very shallow opinion. A 30 year old has a hard time standing up for herself in a patriarchal society. Expecting a 16 year old to do the same is just not grounded in reality. And honestly, it sounds like it’s borderline “victim blaming.” Plus, she’s been calling this scum bag out for a hot minute now. Hope your interview with him went well.
“Don’t point fingers, because if it was that important to point the finger…
You would have pointed sooner.” The first part of the story talks about how she told people if she saw them wearing t-shirts or patches of his band. “Where once I traveled to fests far and wide and stood proud in my Bikini Kill shirts and screamed “Here I am, this happened.” Wake up, just because you were too weak to out your own abuser and his “happy family” he could be raping his own children right now, because you never said anything,
for all you know.
I think you’re missing the fact that she talks about how she told everyone who she was raped by and they still continued to go to his shows. Just because she just know posted it on the internet doesn’t mean she didn’t tell anyone.
Robyn, maybe if you had written an original piece as to your personal experience it would be fine and honest, even respectable, but to talk down to an assault victim like that, disgusting.
Thanks for sharing this. Sorry that there are so many idiotic comments on here.
For anyone that is into punk and comes across this, I’d strongly urge folks to checkout the resources on the website for PHILLY’S PISSED. They have a bunch of good information about supporting survivors of sexual assault and dealing with perpetrators. There are also a lot of good resources for those interested in challenging rape culture (zines on consent, responsible sexuality, etc).
Their website is:
http://www.phillyspissed.net/
All too often punks ignore and minimize sexual assault, behaving in just about the worst way possible whenever people are brave enough to come forward with their stories. That needs to change.
Jorge is scum and I hope this expose helps to take the low-life bastard down.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you know we support you and wish you well. I’ve always hated how punk and other subversive music communities can be cesspools of abuse and havens for abusers, especially those abusers ascribed status for being in bands or being associated with them. One of the many reasons I felt compelled to quit music. Again, thanks for sharing.
Can she still report this to the police and have something done about it after 16 years in the USA?
Who cares? He assaulted this person. He used his position in society as a pseudo celebrity to do it. He exerted power over her. He’s never admitted any wrong doing or apologized. Does this person telling people their music guy is a scum bag really bother you? Can you not sense some sort of justice in this? Is this scum bags reputation really the one we’re going to go out on a limb for? Fuck him.
On top of which, at least according to this persons account other people have come out and said he was a shit bag as well. Fuck him.
I just thought it would make sense for the majority of the people responding the way the are to this guy to care if there is the possibility for him to be held accountable in such a way. I dont know either of the people on each side sorry, nor do I live in the USA, hence why I asked about this in relation to the law. I do sense alot of injustice which is also why I asked if legally there is anything that can be done in that way. I think it would be worth going out on a limb for to create some sort of a case where evidence can be gathered. I mean if all these women who claimed to have been assaulted/harassed by this man banded together and compiled there stories as evidence maybe something more could be done, people have even said that theyve seen him had a knife held to his throat for such actions. I just dont understand why everyone seems so intent on only having an opinion and really just complaining/protesting, just seems to go around in circles getting nowhere.
I can see that. And I guess I’d normally agree to an extent. To an extent. I could be wrong but in reading this persons testimony I for some reason see myself as rationally agreeing with her if only because she sounds so rational about it. But even if she wasn’t I guess my argument would rest somewhere in between “this dude deserves to be held accountable but you need to accept what happened and try to rebuild your self esteem.” But she just doesn’t to me. She also sounds like she’s pointing out that people respond positively to her which is something you generally don’t hear. And validly too. Usually people freeze up when they hear someone they like or admire has been accused of violating someone. But that’s also because, yeah, like in mainstream society there’s that 5 percent of people who exploit sexual violence for their on gains. But that’s 5 out of a hundred at best, and even then they might not be lying so much as a difference of perceptions to which there might be validity to their claim. But making someone cower in a bathroom, man, I wouldn’t sound this cool about it. It sounds like surviving a war crime honestly. No disrespect to the writer if my tone sounds callous. I’d stand with her 100 percent, but that’s just me. I also feeling that sometimes that you can take a moral stance without creating a witch hunt goes further in empowering people to take a stand against sexual violence and weeding out people who may be crying wolf. I think knowing you have a community behind you is going to enable you to make moral decisions. But there’s always that person who exploits whatever they can.
Yea it is interesting how you say people freeze up when they hear about an admired person doing such things, a lot of people seem really uncomfortable with dealing with such a situation when it comes knocking on their front door. And making someone cower in a bathroom in that way is seriously messed up. Im surprised that with all the other stories about this guy surfacing that their hasnt been one in which he has been beaten up by someone for what theyve said hes done. Anyhow, I hope something more comes from it and he really does have to answer to everything. Cheers.
Cheers.
So what about this piece from the bands official statement?
‘as no specific date or time were ever given for this supposed crime, it was possible to quickly disprove this allegation by witnesses (it should not even matter, but just to make the point: those were female witnesses), who were hosting the singer that very same night.
The story was fully disproved and the person spreading this accusation never provided any corroborating evidence to it happening. In fact the opposite happened. Multiple people with direct ties to the accuser have stepped forward to tell the band why they know this accusation to be complete lie. One even went so far as to offer to step forward and to speak to attorneys or law enforcement if need be to clear Jorge’s name. However legal action was considered but due to US laws never taken.’
http://sfmedia.com.au/the-casualties-issue-official-statement-in-relation-to-sexual-assault-accusation/
It depends on the statute of limitations in the state it occurred in.
I’m part of a new movement of sexual abuse survivors and allies, who just launched a new website, Report It, Girl!…Google it and it will take you there. Laws vary by state, and I’m not an attorney, so none of this constitutes advice, but there are great peer to peer resources, and more are on the way!
One of the co-founders reported more than a decade after the abuse initiated, and her perpetrator was prosecuted and is currently incarcerated. You still can have a voice and self advocate.
You are not alone, and your story is worth telling, no matter when or how you choose to do so.
One small note to the editors…thanks so much for doing the work…but, because I hope you can agree with me that language matters…may I gently suggest that the phrase ‘admitted abuse’ perhaps be changed to ‘acknowledge abuse’…admitting something can seem to be admitting fault, and no one is ever to blame for sexual assault. Thanks for reading.
This was around the time I first met these guys and, sadly, Jorge seemed like the only decent one. What a piece if shit!
Thank you for telling your story.
The people who are defending this scumbag are either deep in denial or rapists themselves. Some friends and I met him and took a picture with him at Warped Tour and that like…five minute interaction was enough to recognize hes a sick fuck with a rapist mentality. When we were posing for the picture he was whispering lewd things in one of my friends ears and forcibly kissed another girl on the mouth. We were all 15 at the time (and coincidentally wearing cargo shorts). Thx for calling him out like this.
Wow, this is completely contrary to every time I have been around him in over 15 years of knowing the man since I was a young teenage girl. You people have no idea what you’re talking about but are very quick to judge in the court of popular opinion. This is nothing but a digital lynch mob.
I can only wonder how stupid they think their fans are. I mean, when you’re wearing a bunch of patches and mohawks and bringing the feeble ass law into it, they might as well just see us as “meat with eyes.”
Did you ever think that sometimes your friends aren’t who they seem. I mean, sexuality is a pretty powerful concept. It makes good people do bad things. How you’re wired and who you aspire to be are too often two different concepts in this world. Trust me, I might be a feminist, and I might have always been thought of as a really nice person, but I wasn’t always an angel. And I think most males, or people in general if they were really being honest would agree. Sociopaths have great smiles on Facebook.1
wow. really? just because you’ve “known” him for 15 years doesn’t mean you know EVERYTHING about him. do you think anyone wants to believe their husband molested their child, or a beloved brother raped a best friend? no one wants to believe a friend or a loved one, that they think they “know”, are capable of these things, but they happen, every few minutes, of every day! why do you think someone woud want to put themselves up to such hate and vitriol, if it hadn’t happened? you’ve apparently been one of the lucky few and have never been assaulted and i’m glad you haven’t. but if you had, you’d know, deep down inside, that she’s telling the truth.
So what about this piece from the bands official statement?
‘as no specific date or time were ever given for this supposed crime, it was possible to quickly disprove this allegation by witnesses (it should not even matter, but just to make the point: those were female witnesses), who were hosting the singer that very same night.
The story was fully disproved and the person spreading this accusation never provided any corroborating evidence to it happening. In fact the opposite happened. Multiple people with direct ties to the accuser have stepped forward to tell the band why they know this accusation to be complete lie. One even went so far as to offer to step forward and to speak to attorneys or law enforcement if need be to clear Jorge’s name. However legal action was considered but due to US laws never taken.’
http://sfmedia.com.au/the-casualties-issue-official-statement-in-relation-to-sexual-assault-accusation/
Why is it that every time someone doesn’t like that they are accused of sexual assault, they come out sounding like they tooootally respect women and understand rape culture and women are not liars, but in THEIR case it’s just not true and they jump through hoops with skewed logic to claim innocence.
How about this piece from the bands official statement xosha?
‘as no specific date or time were ever given for this supposed crime, it was possible to quickly disprove this allegation by witnesses (it should not even matter, but just to make the point: those were female witnesses), who were hosting the singer that very same night.
The story was fully disproved and the person spreading this accusation never provided any corroborating evidence to it happening. In fact the opposite happened. Multiple people with direct ties to the accuser have stepped forward to tell the band why they know this accusation to be complete lie. One even went so far as to offer to step forward and to speak to attorneys or law enforcement if need be to clear Jorge’s name. However legal action was considered but due to US laws never taken.’
http://sfmedia.com.au/the-casualties-issue-official-statement-in-relation-to-sexual-assault-accusation/
So the Casualties management has made a statement saying he didn’t do it?
Woah, get the fuck out of here. I never saw that one coming
Not really. Some of us just like to see actual evidence before believing someone is guilty of a serious crime. What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.
I read this, and the other articles about it, and the band’s FB page, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the response by the band and its fans is unconscionable. I’ve worked with victims of sexual assault for years, including being a staff director at a rape crisis program and helping to establish 12 other crisis centers, and I still train people who counsel victims. So this is a serious issue for me.
Part of what made me a feminist was punk rock. In punk, I found a culture that allowed me to question societal norms whenever I saw power used to uphold privilege. I saw female punks treated with respect. I heard Fugazi’s “Suggestion” and let myself be questioned by it. Social change and revolution wasn’t just about capitalism, it was about ALL aspects of culture that devalued or disempowered others, and that includes violence against women. As a male working in this field, I’ve come to see that false reports are very rare, and the majority of survivors I counseled came forth years after their rapes. That’s normal, in other words.
And that brings me to the band and its fans. From punk’s formative progressive seed, we’ve rotted as a subculture, apparently. Rather than struggling and fighting for equality and individuality and freedom, I see fans of The Casualties refer to women as “cunts”, and the word “bitch” is used so often I wondered if I’d stumbled onto a rap forum. Frankly, the band’s press release that it stands for equality pretty much falls apart if The Casualties haven’t been able to develop a following in 20 years that still has no clue why “cunt” is the wrong word to use for rape victims. It definitely shows that the band is trying to retroactively contrive a legacy of standing up for women that they’ve never actually done.
The Casualties are known for many lyrics themes: fighting, drinking, drinking, fighting, drinking, and then drunkenly complaining about “the system.” But feminism and violence against women? 100% absent from their lyrics. So their statement assuring fans that they remain committed to “equality” and “unity” fails the simple truth test, which paints them as a band willing to contrive any untruth to protect themselves. Which is precisely the trait I see in abusers.
The fans who call out the alleged victim (and I hate using “alleged”, but it’s technically true) as a liar, attention-seeker, bitch, slut, whore, and psycho give The Casualties a culture that’s far uglier than I’d seen in them before. I don’t see that culture in the fans of Minor Threat, or The Subhumans, or Henry Rollins. But The Casualties? Oh hell yes, their fans are ALL ABOUT victim-shaming on the Facebook page. And it’s a culture I don’t want to be part of. Frankly, it’s pretty much a spot-on re-creation of the misogynistic jock culture that punk originally helped me resist. So there you have it: The Casualties and their fans have become a fraternity keg party full of jock bullies with punk costumes on. Which is pretty fucking UN-punk. And a betrayal of what punk means to me. And I won’t betray Beth or the one-in-five women in the world around me by making that okay.
I’m with you, Beth.
The response to this from everyone so far, is unconscionable and is reflective of the current human culture that encompasses all of us.
That is a biased statement in regards to their lyrics which could be considered as ‘devaluing others’.
Great post Matt!! I posted a little snippet in support of her. I have a friend that had an encounter with them yrs ago in New Orleans nearly same situation. These guys are scum pigs. Complete lack of respect for them, their music, & any of their poor blind followers.
So what does everyone who posted here think of the official statement released?
http://sfmedia.com.au/the-casualties-issue-official-statement-in-relation-to-sexual-assault-accusation/
How about this piece from the bands official statement?
‘as no specific date or time were ever given for this supposed crime, it was possible to quickly disprove this allegation by witnesses (it should not even matter, but just to make the point: those were female witnesses), who were hosting the singer that very same night.
The story was fully disproved and the person spreading this accusation never provided any corroborating evidence to it happening. In fact the opposite happened. Multiple people with direct ties to the accuser have stepped forward to tell the band why they know this accusation to be complete lie. One even went so far as to offer to step forward and to speak to attorneys or law enforcement if need be to clear Jorge’s name. However legal action was considered but due to US laws never taken.’
http://sfmedia.com.au/the-casualties-issue-official-statement-in-relation-to-sexual-assault-accusation/
You’d be surprised how often “witnesses” are either not witnesses or tell something contrary to what they in fact witnessed, thus falsifying evidence either way. As stated in the original article, a lot of people would indeed do that for a band they like (which is completely counter to punk culture). No, I am not saying that the OP is necessarily telling the truth; I’m saying that you shouldn’t go proffering up statements to the contrary as if they are the truth. Yes, it’s good to find more sources (as you initially did), but never should you blindly believe. I’m currently indecisive, though one thing which annoys me with The Casualties’ statement is how did they find the time this was supposed to have happened at to find witnesses if it was not given? If all they are basing the specific time of the alleged incident off of is this article, then surely that affirms that it did happen. There certainly doesn’t seem to be anything beyond the details of the alleged incident described in the article which could give them clues to such. Of course, there are other ways of finding out the time of the alleged incident, but they would require further investigation on The Casualties’ part. As it stands, the truthfulness of the initial author should be considered before that of the singer because the latter’s accusation of defamation depends on the former’s accusation being false. There is insufficient information here to do as such. I would suggest, like you initially seemed to in previous comments (and yes, you can take legal action this long after the crime), that evidence should be gathered in court from as many sources as possible, the validity of such should be checked over extensively and a decision should be made through the proper legal channels. PLEASE NOTE: many, many, many victims of sexual assault refrain from doing this for for fear of ramifications, which can be blamed on our totally fucked up culture. Such ramifications (e.g. abusive mail) have undoubtedly already been made despite the lack of hard, legal action from the initial author. Like I said, society is screwed in the head.
I don’t seem to be able to edit my post, so sorry for the double post. Just wanted to add that i am unaware of previous reports of such actions by this band. If it is true that similar cases have previously been reported, then the likelihood that some of these allegations are true would be higher and thus likely not merely be defamation (a motive for which is not mentioned, and i imagine fame/sympathy seeking via false statements only makes up a small proportion of accusations against members of bands with this little fame). I hope that these accusations are not true, but they deserve to be investigated fully. And so far it’s not looking good. In the meantime i can only offer my support to the original author, for help for the innocent is of a higher priority than punishment of the guilty.
If they don’t know the specific date and time that this allegation happened, then how on earth can they produce witnesses to disprove it? That doesn’t make sense.
I respect you for getting your story out there. And no women should ever have to go through that. U must have been terrified. My prayers are with you
Tell you the truth, I never really liked this band.
They are not very good.
Ps, Im proud to say I respect all women.
I’am brasilian Punk Rocker, but was rite in portuguese. I throuble in inglish.
Hoje tenho 49 anos e 30 de punk.
Ontem 15 de Março de 2014, fui a um show do Casualties aqui no Brasil, hoje 16 de Março de 2014, fico sabendo desta triste história, me coloco em seu lugar e me da raiva, pois consigo sentir tua agonia em ser tratada como presa. Farei questão de não ir a mais nenhum show desta banda. Fico feliz em saber que você conseguiu estruturar sua e por favor nunca se cale. Pois sou Punk até a morte.
Meu nome – Valter Miguel, São Paulo- Brasil
Today I am 49 years old and 30 punk.
Yesterday March 15, 2014, I went to a concert here in Brazil Casualties. Today March 16, 2014, I heard this sad story, I put myself in his place and made me rage because I can feel your agony to be treated as prey. I will make a point of not going to show any more of this band. Glad to know that you could structure your and please never be silent. For’m Punk to death.
My name – Valter Miguel, Sao Paulo-Brazil
look for me on facebook
You are such a strong person for openly speaking about this. I admire your courage immensely, and I am so sorry you had to go through with something as terrible and disgusting as this. I can’t even begin to imagine. You have our support. Thank you for speaking out for those who are too scared. Maybe they will find inspiration in you to face their fears.
Much love.
Good on you for speaking up. You have my support, and The Casualties are no longer anywhere to be found in my music library. Any misogynist that claims he’s punk is a poseur anyway.
Well written, well said, heard loud and clear.
Hey, I’d like to know who this band is. I’ll hit you up. Gonna read more of this blog when I’m off for the weekend. This post was bad ass.
Nevermind. I had a feeling it was those Dousche Bags.
Jorge has always been a predator. I have known him for years, worked with him and had to fight him off when he pinned me down after kicking my feet out from under me and pushing onto his mattress on the floor when i went to his NYC apartment years ago to pick up shows he stole from his job. His snaggletooth grin will forever live in my mind. He dug his grave, let him drop in it already.
Shoes NOT shows
They are still playing. Please let’s continue to spread the truth about Jorge. It’s easy to see when they are playing on their band page. It’s easy to inform people going to their shows via fb events. It’s easy to contact the venues & other bands on the same bill and let them know it is not cool to support a rapist. We have not forgotten. Let’s spread the word & not let him hide.
If I don’t like what you said here, do I have the right to track you down and stage a protest in front of your workplace? Unless of course, you are the trial judge who heard this case….oh wait, there was no trial, there was no evidence or testimony brought forward. So based on something you read on the internet, and corroborated by other comments you read on the internet, you are prepared to end not just Jorge’s career, but to cause financial hardship to other musicians slated for that bill (who may never have heard of this accusation), the venues, the staff at the venues…. But who cares right? If someone posts a blog about being assaulted, it’s totally true right? Tell me how this helps assault survivors. Spend your time better by writing to your government to assure there is no statute of limitations on sexual assault, and to assure there are more services to help survivors. This is just a modern form of torches and pitchforks. What next, witch burnings?
The criminal justice system is not the only holder of truth, in fact they’re quite flawed at obtaining it. I’ve spoken with Beth and I believe here & the many other women who have since stepped forward to share their accounts of having assaulted by Herrara as well. If you are in a band with a rapist you should be prepared to take a financial hit. If you own a venue that will allow a rapist a platform for speech you should prepare to be boycotted & rightly so. You stand by a rockstar even when all of these women have come forward with similar accounts. I bet you’d go drinking with Cosby.
@ Robyn – I don’t stand by a rock star, I just don’t think you are entitled to act as judge and jury. As for Cosby, all of those women came out in public and did interviews, gave their names and are prepared to go to the wall with this. So far “Beth” has posted as a guest on a blog and we don’t know whether she’s a real person or some guy with a beef against the band. It’s the internet for crying out loud – if you believe everything you read in blogs and the following comments, then you are going to spend a lot of time tilting at windmills. Use your energy to do something positive to end sexual assault. I’m not saying she wasn’t assaulted, nor am I saying she shouldn’t speak out. I’m just amazed that everyone is so willing to jump to conclusions just because they read a blog. Think about this: Your son gets accused on FB of being a rapist, or your husband is accused of pedophilia. No one bothers to check the facts, they simply share the story until it’s viral. Your son or husband is called in by his boss and told “we have to let you go, we are getting inundated with threats of boycott for having you here”. There is no trial, no opportunity to defend themselves, just a knee jerk response to a post on the internet. Would you feel that the internet is better than the justice system then? How many times have you simply shared a story without checking it? How many embarrassing photos of people you don’t even know have you shared without any consideration for their feelings? Are you are one of those people who thinks it’s OK to bully people on the internet, but would be the first to cry foul if it happened to you? No, I don’t condone rape, sexual assault or bullying nor do I condone vigilante justice by the crowd on the internet. Let’s work on making it safe for victims to come forward to the authorities without fear, let’s work on better counselling for survivors, for better education on rape culture in our schools and for the justice system to work better on the whole. Internet shaming isn’t going to stop assaults, nor is it going to help the survivors.
As I already stated I have spoken directly with Beth. She is a real person who happen to post her experience on a mommy blog & punks just came across it. She told people at the time & witnesses have corroborated her account. She is not the only one he did this to either, many women have since stepped forward.
Again, how would you defend your husband/son/brother if someone came forward on the internet after 15 years accusing them of sexual assault and your family was threatened by anonymous people? Would you feel that internet justice is the correct way for the victim to deal with it? I’m NOT questioning her veracity, I’m questioning the people who react to a story on the internet and take it upon themselves to mete out punishment. The courts have been wrong, but I’m pretty sure that it’s possible for “the internet” to be wrong too.
She has a right to relate her experience and how it has affected her. Her experience, to her especially is a very real thing. An opinion, even a factual opinion still doesn’t mean jack shit. Your opinion is a belief, and you and only you are responsible for the kinds of opinions that you form. Beth didn’t have a choice of beleif, she didn’t get to decide whether or not to have this experience.
You can express your opinion all you want, wherever you want, and gather as large of a following of assholes as you want but you are still just an asshole with an opinion, not a victim. As such, nobody has to agree with your opinion…sadly, disagreeing with what eth has related doesn’t change her experience.
I believe this woman. That casualties singer needs to be brought to justise. The 10 years I was involved in the punk scene I came across nothing but punk guys bashing their girlfriends. One even murdered his girlfriend. There’s definately some connection between punk guys and violence towards women.
I can’t believe anyone in the punk scene (at least back in the 90s) could be surprised by this. Jorge had a very strong reputation as, at the very least, a serial statutory rapist. I’ve had my own experiences with him, and while I don’t classify it as sexual assault, now that I’m older, I know his behavior with a 15 year old girl was beyond inappropriate. A person can be a fun dude to hang out with, even a nice guy, and still be a sexual predator. It’s really surprising to me the outcry from fans. I thought there was no question about his rep in the scene
Hey, first I’d like to thank you for putting your story out there I know firsthand standing against your attacker can be very painful especially if it’s someone well known like Jorge. I was in the punk scene for many years as a young girl and it would seem to me that sexual deviance is quite pervasive within punk culture. There has been a similar issue raised quite recently with Davey Brat from Canadian band Brat Attack. If there is any lesson that we can learn from these brave survivors coming forward is that we need to challenge these behaviours when we see them happening. If you know someone in the scene is a creep then it’s not enough to keep it merely as whispers in the crowd. Stand up and say something don’t leave the honess to fall squarely on the shoulders of the victims of their behaviour. If you know something is happening and you do nothing I feel you are complicit in the crime as well and let’s not mince words that’s what we are talking about a serious crime.
Blogging from blighty…reading this, it seems with you people across the pond,an accusation is all you need to get a lynch party going, i,ve never seen the casualties but thinking of seeing them in prague in september, hence stumbled on this…remember anyone can make accusations….if you take every one as truth with out evidence..god help us all
Exactly. Everyone with a keyboard is now on the Supreme Court. Hate someone? Just create a blog post and all the kool-aid drinkers on the internet will help you take that person down. How many people have been bullied to death by people willing to jump on an internet bandwagon? Too many.
True…it can get very orwellian,everyone statrs j,accusing without any knowledge of events themselves…i can have a differnce in my own mind of things that happened weeks ago,as for years ago…i,m nor defending the accused person but don,t just assume everything some one says at face value…end of waffle
I work with many organizations working to end all violence against women and girls around the world. #Vday #OneBillionRising #WEAVE #RAINN #HalfTheSky #APathAppears #WomenTakeBackTheNight
No one has to take this abuse. All girls have the right to their innocence and safety. If you want to fight for those rights and educate the public, join one of them.
Just curious how this blogger would respond if the “internet” decided that she was lying and decided to shut down her business through boycott. How would her family respond if her husband were suddenly accused of having assaulted someone 18 years ago, with no proof, no witnesses, no nothing. You have not got justice for assaulted women, all you have done is ignited a hate storm, not only against this band, but all of their fans as well. Want justice? Lobby for the elimination of any statute of limitations for sexual assault. Make it so victims can go to the authorities, not the internet. I am sorry you were assaulted but I’m also sorry that this is your approach to healing. There are lots of very effective counselling programs for survivors. I know, I’ve been there. This post probably won’t see the light of day, because there isn’t much room for anyone to criticize a survivor, even when the survivors become bullies themselves.
A one on one interview with Beth found here. Thanks for reading, and please share!
View at Medium.com
View at Medium.com
I found this article whilst looking for a site to buy a Casualties shirt from. I don’t think I’ll be doing that now, or be able to enjoy their music anymore. No amount of esteem or community standing makes this forgivable.
Fuuk I really liked them. I was going to look for concert tickets and I saw the boycott the casualties Facebook page and it took me here, so now I won’t be going to any of their shows. I’ll have to unlike all their YouTube stuff too. To anyone who can’t quit their music, do the ethical thing and illegally download it so you aren’t supporting them in any way.